Tired of picking up toys every day? It’s a constant battle to keep a small kids room clean. Here’s how to fix it.
Moms are tired.
So tired.
Tired of cleaning the same mess every day. Tired of losing our tempers after having the same kids clean up the same mess for the 10th time in a row.
Tired of stepping on Legos on the way to the crib to get the crying baby.
Tired.
In between yawns, we ask each other for the secret. How do we have kids clean up without screaming and losing our minds?
How Do You Keep A Small Kids Room Clean?
I was huge and miserable when I was pregnant with my fifth baby. Hubby was busy, working full time and earning a degree. Heck, we were all busy, all the time.
And our home was a giant mess.
So bad, in fact, that a couple of friends had mercy on me and came to help me dig out of the giant mess.
All I could do was sit and stare at the disarray and think “Once I’m back on my feet, never again will this house look like this.”
Now, I’m not going to say that I never yell at my kids about their messes. I still have nights when my head hits the pillow and I instantly wish I had handled my day better.
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But the messes have dramatically improved over the past few years, as have the ways we handle “clean up time” in our home.
I’m going to lay out the steps we took to make that happen. Because I know you can make this happen for you, too.
Problem 1: It’s Overwhelming
I mean, if the mess is overwhelming for you, just imagine how much worse it is to a little one! Because the fact is that most of them just have too many toys.
One article claims that a child, on average, receives 70 new toys each year.
You might be thinking “No way. Not my kid!” But really think about it. Your kid likely gets toys for their birthdays, holidays, treats from friend’s birthday parties, fast food toys, at the dentist, etc, etc.
Is it reasonable to ask a 5 year old to clean up her stuff when she owns hundreds of things? Tell the truth…you’re overwhelmed just thinking about it yourself!
Aren’t these toy bins awesome?? You can totally build them yourself.
What To Do About It
Pare down. Get rid of it. Throw it away, share it with others, sell it on eBay.
We’ve all heard of the KonMari method by now, haven’t we? Or perhaps you like the FlyLady method.
It comes down to this. You need to take a day when the kids aren’t home and tear apart their room. Don’t forget any toys or the “stuff” they own in other rooms.
You might be thinking, “No way. My kid plays with every toy he owns and he’d know immediately if I got rid of anything.”
Stop and think about that. Does your child play with everything…or does he frantically move from one toy to another because his room is so overwhelming?
Does he play with everything…or is he really just moving things from one room to another looking for an open area to play in?
My kids almost never miss the toys I remove. What they do notice is that they have so much room for activities!
Here’s how to do it:
- Anything broken beyond repair is thrown out. It doesn’t matter if Grandma gave it to him for his first Christmas. Seeing it just makes you sad that he can’t play with it anymore. If it truly is that beloved, get him a new one for his birthday.
- If a child outgrows a toy, put it in the closet for the next child. With 6 kids, we almost always have a next child that will enjoy it. When the baby outgrows it, we save only the most precious few things. The rest is sold (I have found that Decluttr is the easiest way to do that), handed down, donated, or tossed.
- Not sure if a stuffed animal (or book or toy etc) is loved? Hide it. I keep a big tub of objects in the attic or basement or closet.
- The kids have no idea that this tub exists. That step is super important! If they lay eyes on it, you will never be able to get rid of it.
- The child has to remember the toy and specifically ask for it before I return it to them. They don’t know about this rule. Don’t give them reasons to sit around and remember every toy they have ever owned.
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It’s OK to Do This One Alone
At the time of our purge, my kids were not old enough to make a reasonable decision about each toy. Yes, I love teachable moments… but a giant purge is not a teachable moment.
This job is taxing for an adult! Asking your child to make big decisions is too much.
To create an actual teachable moment, ask your kid to find one toy they no longer love or want. Then donate it to a less fortunate child. It can be tough for them to find one to part with. But with practice, it gets easier.
Solution #2: Help Them Clean With Less Overwhelm
I’ve started sending my kids to their rooms only to make their beds. Clean sheets, with only the things you love the most on the bed.
Later in the day, I tell them to fill a bag with trash. (Why oh why is there always so much garbage on the floor of their rooms??)
Then dishes. A basket of dirty laundry. Etc.
That breaks up the task so they don’t give up immediately and start playing.
Problem 2: There’s Not a Place for Everything…So How Can Everything Be In Its Place?
I remember feeling irritated when I asked my son why he couldn’t just clean up his mess. I watched him reach to pick up a toy…and then look around the room, confused as to where to put it.
That’s when I realized that I wasn’t sure where to put that toy, either. How could I be aggravated with him if I didn’t know where it went?
Find your own system of toy boxes, crates, and other containers to make it easy to clean up.
Set up a system so simple that a new babysitter can walk into the house and know where the toys belong. Then you’ll know that you’ve simplified enough for a child.
Problem 3: There’s No Routine
If you want kids to clean up regularly, something needs to signal: *Ding!* It’s clean up time!
I mean things like…lunch time doesn’t start until after toys are put away.
Or 2:00 means clean up time. Set a special alarm tone on your phone.
Decide what fits into your own schedule.
Problem 4: They Need Incentive
If your kids are Minecraft addicts, then create a rule that there is no screen time until they’ve cleaned up. That one is unbelievably effective!
For younger kids, maybe their reward for cleaning up is a snack, Netflix, or outside time.
You might be against the thought of rewarding your child for doing something they should do anyway. In our home, they aren’t getting extra snacks or extra screen time.
I make it clear that the room will get cleaned one way or the other. But if they comply without a fight, they can get that screen time they’ve been wanting.
Problem 5: Who’s In Charge?
Do your kids hear you when you ask them to do something nicely? Sometimes I get the impression that my kids think I’m just kidding unless I yell the words instead of speaking them.
Clearly that’s something I’ve accidentally taught them. The only way to change their thinking is to skip the yelling altogether.
Try to ask kids to clean up in a specific way. “Please hang up your coat on the rack.” “Please empty your lunchbox and put it in the pantry.”
This eliminates the “I’m confused by what you want” excuse.
If they don’t do it right away, take them by the hand and physically move them through the motions. Don’t hurt them, just move them through the motions to get the job done.
Another solution is an immediate consequence. “Again, please hang up your coat. And for extra practice, you can hang all these other coats, too.”
With these problems solved, it should be easier to keep a small kids room nice and clean!
These methods take some time to put into place. But if you dedicate yourself to getting them done, you’ll find clean up time goes so smoothly you’ll forget about the yelling!
Don’t miss my easy method for packing lunches.
How do you keep your small kids room clean without losing your mind?
I'm Jamie, and I want to help you afford a beautiful life with your family. 
Jamie, you had me at “moms are tired…so tired.” Oh, yes, sister. Thanks for these great ideas. Which, as a yeller (okay, fine, old yeller) I need. 😉
I definitely still classify as a yeller (unfortunately), but I’ve been able to really tone it down since implementing these things! Thanks for the visit, always happy to see you around, Elizabeth!
I remember one time, when I was probably 5 or so, and my mom “helped” me clean my room. What really happened, is she was present and accounted for, directing me on what to do, what to be looking at, and to help make sure I was getting rid of things. Also, that I wasn’t finding things I had forgotten and playing with them. And while the majority of the times after then that I cleaned, I still stopped to play, I knew I wasn’t supposed to, ha!
Incentive is the best motivator. I read something on Lifehacker last week that either paid or took money from people who were exercising/or not exercising. One group was paid every day they worked out. The other group was given a sum of money, and it was taken away from each day they *didn’t* work out. And the second group did better over all. They already had the reward, but they had to work to keep it. Which is very much so what it sounds like you are doing – it’s something they already get, but they *won’t* get it if they don’t do their stuff. And at least one science says it’s right 😉
That’s fascinating! It makes me wonder how I handle habits myself as far as rewards go.
I need at least 10 days off in a row to even begin the BIG PURGING MARATHON!
It is incredible how one kid accumulates so much stuff over just a few years!
Thank you vor this helpful post. Wish me luck!
Pinning, because even without kids yet I can tell these are brilliant suggestions / guidelines!!
ha! Thanks for your support! I appreciate it.
These are great tips! I have four kids, so I can relate. It’s time for us to do our annual “get rid of broken toys” clean out.
Saw your link at This is How We Roll. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the visit! The decluttering never ends, but at least it tends to get a little easier with time.
HA! I needed this so many years ago with my son. Too late. He’s married.
When I have my 3 year old’s playthings sorted into baskets, trays etc on our shelves where he can see everything, he’s much more likely to put things away. He also shows a lot more interest in his toys when they’re organized.
Do you think this will work for husbands too??? 🙂 totally kidding! Such a great post! Thanks so much for sharing at Funtastic Friday!
I don’t have kids but will definitely share this with my sister. My nieces are both very messy and I’m sure my sister could benefit from these ideas!
Great tips…. some kids will protest, no matter the age! lol! Thanks for sharing Jamie!
You might enjoy this post from JoyfulSavings: Beautiful & Practical Ideas to Recycle Greeting Cards!
Wish I could try some of these on my dog! So much mud tracked in this time of year!
I remember as a kid, LOVING the rare day when I’d come home from school and my room had been cleaned (purged). It all felt so peaceful! I noticed a few things missing months later, but they were never a huge deal. I love this idea, and I need to do it more often myself.
Thanks for this wisdom! Our toy baskets are overflowing so you are right that it’s probably too overwhelming for a toddler to face! I need to work on establishing a good toy rotation.
Holy Moly! Over 70 toys a year? That’s crazy but when you started listing all the things and celebrations they do all add up. I for sure pick up and have a hidden stash. If they don’t ask for it in a few weeks, its GONE!
I’m a FlyLady fan. I love your tips. And they work pretty well also with adults, I think.
I’m not an organized person by nature. Not at home, at least. It’s a mindfulness exercise for me, but it’s working.
Great tips!
This is a great list, Jaime! I’m just wondering if it would work for husbands, as well. 😉 Thanks for joining us at #FridayFrivolity this week!
P.S. You’re my feature! 🙂
Woohoo! Thanks! 🙂
I don’t have kids but I live with several children and I have been putting up their toys in a spare shed area. They have not ever ONCE asked for them. I need to create a good time for clean up. Great tips for even Aunts!
Oh my goodness, I thought I was the only one who physically moved my kids’ hands to pick up their toys. Lol. Sometimes I feel silly doing it, but it works!
Sometimes they don’t seem to get it… or they just need that extra motivation. 😉
Great post! I think routine is key – my boys are creatures of habit so once something is in their routine, we’re golden!
I totally agree. A flexible routine (because I used to have a very rigid one that went too far the other way) is really important.
I love these ideas. We just moved and my sister helped me really pare down some things, especially toys.