Inside: “I want to be a stay at home mom” was my battle cry for years. You can make this dream come true if you’re willing to follow these steps.
I proudly watched as my Hubby crossed the stage wearing his cap and gown. It was tough work to put him through college while we both worked full-time jobs and raised our son, but it paid off!
A week after the celebration, I gave birth to our second boy. As I held him, one thought ran through my head over and over.
I want to be a stay at home mom!
But we just weren’t in a position to make it happen yet. I had to be content with a long summer off with my boys instead.
By the time I was pregnant with our third child, we knew it was time to get serious about making my dream a reality. I wasn’t good at juggling work and home life. And that paycheck I was earning was barely covering the costs of my work.
I was due in June, so we had an entire school year to make our preparations. Today, I’m going to share with you how we made the leap.
I Want to Be A Stay At Home Mom
1. Want It the Most
This sounds silly, but it’s the most important step. How much do you want to be a stay at home mom? Is it more important than owning the latest gadgets? If you refuse to do without cable tv or make other sacrifices, that’s ok. But it’s important to admit it before you quit your job and go into debt.
Living a champagne lifestyle on a Coke budget doesn’t work.Want to be a #sahm? That champagne lifestyle on a Coke budget has to go.Click To Tweet
Some people don’t want to afford it. Be honest with yourself. If you don’t really want to be a stay home mom, that’s ok. If everyone was the same, life would be boring.
2. Get Out of Debt
Next, get completely out of debt. Imagine the wiggle room you’d have in your budget if you were debt free!
Get serious about eliminating debt. Start a #yearofno in your home!
Once you decide to stay home, your paycheck becomes “extra money”. Use as much as you can to pay down debt. (Obviously you can’t use all of it, because there are expenses associated with going to work. And that brings me to…)
3. Calculate the cost of your second income
You probably know that you have to reinvest some of your paycheck back into your job. But do you know how much?
We found that expenses like these cut my income dramatically:
- Childcare (If you’re expecting your first, you’ll want to price this to help you make your decision.)
- Transportation: This includes a whole list of things from gas to parking passes to owning a second vehicle. Some choose to do without a second car so that Mom can stay home. Not driving to work will save you a good chunk of change by itself.
- Food: I don’t know about you, but when I was a working mom we ate out a lot. I was too tired to cook most days. I also bought expensive convenience foods. Most of this can be cut out in favor of simple meals when you are home. I’m not promising you won’t be tired! But being home gives you the ability to throw food in the crock pot anytime during the day.
- Clothing: You might need to buy a uniform, nice work clothes, or specific materials that help you with your job. The good news is that the stay at home mom uniform is whatever you want it to be!
- Dues/Fees: If you plan to go back to work at some point, you’ll want to do your best to keep up with certificates and licenses to make that an easy transition. But you may find that you can eliminate dues or fees to certain organizations and groups while you are staying home.
4. Start living on one income now.
Before you give up your second income, practice doing without it now. If you have no debt, put that money into savings. You’ll want a cash cushion before you put in your notice.
5. Embrace frugality
You’ve worked it out and have a plan for staying home. Great! But if you want to continue to stay home (rather than scrambling to find another job to keep up your lifestyle) you’ll need to embrace frugality.
The word frugal has taken on a negative feeling, but it really shouldn’t be that way. To me, being frugal isn’t about cutting corners and being cheap. I’d define it as being extremely intentional with your money.
For instance, frugal people save up to buy a quality item rather than grabbing the cheapest one (and then having to buy it again a few months later when it breaks).
Get extra money saving tips every single week from the Medium Sized Family newsletter!
6. Consider working at home
If you do your calculations and find that you’re still coming up a little short, try to make up the difference with a work at home job.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’ll be able to get a lot of work done while you’re home with the kids. That magical nap time isn’t a guarantee. Rather, look at your schedule and see if there’s a time that your partner can watch the kids while you work.
The beauty of most work at home jobs is that they’re flexible. You can work whenever you can fit it into your schedule. But you do have to be able to get it done! So be realistic.
- freelance transcription
- become a virtual assistant
- do a smaller, freelance version of what you did at your day job
- start a blog (Be aware that it typically takes a year or more to make any income from a blog!)
- customer service via phone
- random odd jobs for some spending money
If those don’t fit your schedule, you can still consider babysitting or pet sitting. You can do those things while watching your own children.
Your heart says “I want to be a stay at home mom!” Now get your body in gear and make it happen!
Our third baby was born in late June. Because we followed this plan, I was able to give my notice just a few days later. I’ve been a stay at home mom for nine years now, and I’ve never regretted it. If you share this dream, I encourage you to give it all you’ve got!
If you’d like some extra help with saving money, be sure to sign up for my newsletter! My subscribers get extra money saving tips that I don’t share on the blog.
Are you a stay home mom, or do you want to be? What have you done to make that dream come true?