Your Money, Your Marriage is the perfect book for couples who fight about money. Don’t risk your marriage! Put the practical advice in this book to work.
Tackling debt is a subject near and dear to my heart. Our family used our #yearofno motto to help us destroy tens of thousands of dollars worth of credit card debt. So anyone else who has fought hard against debt feels like an ally!
That’s part of what makes me such a fan of The Queen of Free. Cherie Lowe and her husband paid off $127,000 (!) in debt! And they managed to stay lovingly married through the fight.
You probably know that money fights are one of the leading causes of divorce. In fact, it’s likely something you’ve struggled with in your own marriage at one point or another.
I know that finding a balance between my Hubby’s more spendthrift methods and my own super frugal ideas was tough when we were first married over 16 years ago. And working out that balance is one of the best things we’ve done.
The advice in Cherie’s new book, Your Money, Your Marriage, is perfect for anyone who still struggles with money fights in their own marriage.
Here’s why I recommend this book.
Your Money, Your Marriage Book Review
What’s Gonna Work? Teamwork!
The first thing I love about this book is that Cherie and her husband, Brian, wrote the book together. You’ll get the perspective of the wife AND the husband.
That is so important.
Not only does this help to establish the idea of working as a team on your money, but it’s great to get the perspective of both sides.
Too often, spouses spend time blaming one another for problems. If we put that energy into finding ways to work as a team against a common “enemy” (as I often think of our debt), how much stronger could your marriage be?
Rather than reading chapters of lecture about loving your spouse, this book is just plain fun. This couple shares fun stories about their own lives that are easy to relate to.
For instance, at one point in the book Cherie says she was asked if she would describe herself as a “personal finance expert”. After a lot of thought, she decided that she’s actually a “personal finance failure”.
And this wasn’t a dig at herself.
Failure is one of life’s best teachers, and if you can come out of that failure having learned something, imagine your potential!
This was one of those “aha” moments for me. I, too, am a personal finance failure, after all. 😉
Money Saving Tip
Want to Try It Out?
Here’s an excerpt from the book. I think you’ll love the style and readability of this book as much as I have.
I’m a morning person. While I enjoy sleeping in as much as the next girl, getting out of bed isn’t really a struggle for me. Embracing the joy and blank slate of a new day, I love making breakfast and beginning again. Everything seems ripe with potential. But odds are good I’d be much less Pollyanna if I didn’t have my favorite Wonder Woman mug filled with the warm and delicious nectar sponsoring my early a.m. optimism—coffee.
My coffee obsession began in college when I discovered just how amazing this miracle beverage tasted and made me feel. Local coffee houses fueled long nights of study before Starbucks claimed every campus for its own. I favored a specific espresso drink named Rocket Fuel, which might explain my flirtations with high blood pressure now, but I digress. Mornings and coffee go together like peas and carrots, like Forrest and Jen-nae.
For this reason, before I go to bed at night, I ritualistically prepare our cherry red Hamilton Beach. Grounds and filter fixed, water filled, and timer programmed fifteen minutes before my alarm clock will ring, the mechanism for delivering my daily cup of happy juice depends on preparation. Doing things in advance—for your money and your marriage—is a lot like setting a coffee pot the night before. You commit to forethought and some basic legwork. But the outcome brews with beauty, delivering the energy and vitality you need to make it through another day.
Organization requires advance action. Odds are good you didn’t create your physical and financial clutter overnight, so you won’t be able to twitch your nose or wave a magic wand to remove the mess instantaneously either. The endeavor necessitates daily planned motion conducted over time. Just like nightly setting the coffee pot, you’ll have to do things on a routine basis. You’ll need to anticipate busy seasons and potential pitfalls. And you’ll need to take action so you won’t be found without a drop in your mug each morning.
Talk is cheap in this organizational madness though. Here are some concrete strategies to help you control the clutter in your home so nothing comes between you and your spouse except the bed sheets.
Purge with three boxes. In your problem areas, line up three boxes. Designate one as a Give Box and place items inside that you plan on donating to a charity or people you know who could use the extras. The second box is your Keep Box. Inside of it, deposit anything you know you want to keep but need to find a permanent home for. Finally, toss everything else in the Trash Box (or maybe bag).
Everything has its home. During his childhood, Brian’s dad taught him several valuable lessons. Your keys go in your left front pocket. Your change lives in your right front pocket. Your wallet needs to be placed in your right rear pocket, and your comb gets put in the left rear pocket. And if you put all those items where they belong in random succession, you come close to doing half the Macarena. The underlying organizational strategy becomes priceless when applied throughout your home. Valuables need homes. If you’re constantly losing your keys, you need one set space you return them to each time you come home. This simple strategy added minutes to my day and hours to my life.
Can it be replaced in twenty minutes and for less than twenty dollars? I love tips on minimalism. One of the key concepts I picked up from The Minimalists, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus, early on is what they call the 20/20 Principle. If we’re on the fence about keeping or pitching something, we ask ourselves if the item could be replaced in twenty minutes and for less than twenty dollars. If the answer is yes, we go ahead and pass the item along. A simple litmus test like this can help you cut down on the extras cluttering your cabinets and clogging your closets.
Talk to each other about money daily. Think through future expenses, discuss charges or deposits cleared, and see “trouble coming” in the form of field trips, birthdays, holidays, sports fees, and more.
Set a dollar limit for nonbudgeted purchases. To avoid financial clutter, you need to communicate and then overcommunicate about what you’re buying. This simple practice prevents overdrawing and overbuying. While we were paying off $127,000 in debt, Brian and I decided that for any nonbudgeted purchase over ten dollars, we would talk to each other first. I know this might seem drastic, but it’s what worked for us. What’s important is that you both choose a dollar amount you agree on. It’s rare that one of us (in fact I can’t think of a single occasion) has said no when we’ve touched base on an unexpected purchase. It’s not about controlling each other’s spending but about keeping in constant financial contact.
Communicate three times more than usual when it comes to major purchases. Again, to steer clear of financial chaos, be sure you and your spouse go above and beyond when it comes to talking about making a major purchase. Note: communication is not ranting, nagging, selling, convincing, or trying to get your way. Winning is understanding the other’s concerns and needs and coming to a common conclusion.
Buy less, have more sex. This is our favorite perk of minimalism. If you don’t have too much stuff (to store, clean, move, repair, etc.), you won’t be overwhelmed by the organizational process. When you own less, you free up physical space in your home and aren’t constantly battling clutter. You’ll spend less time looking for things and less time cleaning. You may even argue less. Unencumbered, you should be able to focus on what really matters—people, not things. Make your purchases based on what you need and not what you want. You may just find more space to breathe and more time for sex.
Convinced you want to try the book? Why not try it for free?! One lucky winner will receive a free copy of Your Money, Your Marriage. Enter now!
I strongly recommend a Your Money, Your Marriage book read for every married couple!
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