Are You Done Having Kids?
Today another one of our babies begins kindergarten. You would think by the fourth child it would be easier, but nope! I’ve definitely been far more nervous than my independent little “only girl”. (She’s been begging me to go to school since she could talk!)
I remember walking my first born into kindergarten at a new, scary (to me) school while rather pregnant with this little girl and thinking about how many more first days we had to come.
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When I walked our third born son into his first day of school, this little girl was 2 years old. At the time I thought to myself, “Huh. When I bring her to school, I *might* not even have another baby to bring along with me. That’s weird.”
Yet here I am, walking our little girl into school on her first day, and lugging along yet another baby. And this time, do you know what I’ll be thinking? “Huh. When I bring him to school, I *might* not even have another baby to bring along with me. That’s weird.”
If you have one kid or several, I think we’ve all been asked that same question.
Are you done having kids?
I think that some Moms (and Dads) are bothered by that question. They find it intrusive.
But I’ve been on the receiving end of some very mean and rude comments on the size of our family (even from people who should know better). So “are you done” questions don’t really offend me. I think we are all a bit curious about each other, and that’s ok.
But our own answer to the Are You Done question always seems to catch people off guard.
“Are you done having kids?” “I don’t know.”
Because that’s the answer you give when you’re asked what restaurant you want to eat at, or what your favorite planet is. Family size is supposed to be very specific and determined.
Why do we feel that way?
Choosing your family size is a big deal. It’s an important decision. Not something to be considered lightly.
For me, I have no idea what the future holds. When I’m in the midst of never sleeping newborns or crazy, trying toddlers, I am tempted to say I never want another child again. But that’s making a rash decision in the heat of the moment that another child will never exist because I am tired. That’s not good enough for me.
Now some people have serious reasons that they can never bear another child, and so family size is pretty determined for them. I can see why some people give a very decided “Yes” to the big question.
As for our family, we ebb and flow.
Some days I definitely can’t handle 5 kids. (For the record, we currently have five kids.) I don’t mean that I can’t care for them properly. I do mean that I get exhausted and have bad days just like the next mom does (no matter what her family size is).
Other days I wish for another baby to snuggle and watch grow into a beautiful, independent person.
I’m just not willing to make a concrete decision today that I will never have another baby. I have no idea what the future holds. So until God determines otherwise, there’s always a chance for another Medium Sized Family baby.
How do you feel about “Are you done?” Does it annoy you or do you think nothing of it? Do you have a firm answer for that question?