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While I like to blog about frugal ways to raise a family, I have a guilty little secret.
My name is Jamie, and I have a fast food problem.
The reason it’s a problem is because one of the absolute best ways to save money is to tell yourself “No.” As in “No, I don’t want to purchase this item, because that future thing is so much better!”
It’s as simple an idea as it is hard to carry out.
How to Say No
You see, when you are raising a medium sized family of 5 kids, life has its very busy seasons. You know those days… we are running from an appointment to two practices, with homework and errands in between. It can be exhausting and makes it tough to find time for a meal. Fast food becomes an easy way to handle that problem.
To make it worse, have you ever noticed that the more fast food you eat, the more you begin to crave it? I’ve read that the brain can become addicted to such fats much like an addiction to some drugs. (You can read one such article here.)
Better Than Before
While I do try to make some rules for myself as to when I can eat fast food, I find that the more junk food I have, the easier it becomes to justify the purchase.
I have been reading a great book called Better Than Before about forming habits. In one chapter of the book, Gretchen Rubin talks about moderation versus abstinence when it comes to trying to get rid of a bad habit.
[Tweet “Are you better with moderation or totally abstaining from bad #habits?”]
Common advice that you will hear people give when it comes to dieting or quitting any bad habit is that you should allow yourself little treats and “cheats” every now and then so you don’t get frustrated and give up. This advice works great… for some people in some situations.
But other people surprisingly find that it is easier to give up a bad habit altogether. They know that they can’t allow themselves to eat fast food (for instance) once per week, because getting a taste for it just makes them want it even more.
Mr. Money Mustache talked about this recently on his blog, too. (Fair warning, he uses strong language on his blog. Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you click this link.) He was surprised to find that he was wasting more time on his phone than he realized. Rather than continuing to monitor his usage, he decided to totally give it up one day per week.
Too Many Decisions!
Part of the problem is that if you allow yourself moderation, now you have decisions to make on a regular basis. “Am I allowed to have fast food today? When did I have it last? Does that really count, though? What could I do to justify this meal? If I do this today, am I allowed to do it again tomorrow?” Etc, etc.
As for me, I know that I am a “cold turkey” type of person. If it is truly time to cut something out, I prefer to make one final decision. (I don’t buy fast food.) This way, if we have a busy day and I am considering stopping for fast food, I won’t have to make the tough decision of whether to spend the money or not. The decision is already made… I don’t purchase fast food. I will have to find another way.
Side note…I feel like the words choices you use with yourself are important. “I’ll never eat fast food again” feels like a life sentence, whereas “I don’t purchase fast food” feels like an empowering statement.
In a way, abstaining totally from fast food is a giant relief. I won’t have to make any tough decisions about it. I will be forgiven my load of guilt. And I’ll be saving money!
Yes, it will require me to do some planning ahead. But I enjoy cooking, so I just need to be more intentional about baking things that are easy to eat on the go.
Are you a moderator or an abstainer?
Rubin says that to find out if a person is a moderator or an abstainer, she will ask them if they could eat just one square of chocolate and then put back the rest of the candy bar for another day. I already know that I would devour the entire candy bar in one sitting, and I would be better off not having it around!
Be sure to also check out Is It Too Comfortable in Here? (And for the record, I have been doing better about stopping for Dr. Pepper! Now to carry it on to this other bad habit.)
Read our update: We are using our new habit of avoiding fast food to help us funnel money towards our BHAG.
So how far do you carry your own “no”? Are you an abstainer or a moderator? What habits would you like to change?
I'm Jamie, and I want to help you afford a beautiful life with your family. 
This is really good stuff, Jamie! I have a hard time with “cheating.” It’s a very slippery slope with me. As much as I miss the junk, I feel it’s better to just not eat it at all. Of course, there are times when I still fail, but I still try to keep moving forward.
I actually had a long conversation with my kids last week about how dangerous it is to eat chips right out of the bag. In our house it’s totally true that “you can’t eat just one.” We have to put them in a bowl and put the bag away or else you end up with an empty bag very quickly!
Boy, isn’t that the truth! I try not to buy too many chips anymore because of that. Of course, we still wander through the kitchen looking for things to snack on. haha!
Bad habits are there to stay if you cheat yourself. At least that is how it works for me. There shouldn’t be a cheat day for me, because I see the easy way and that is the way for me.
When it comes to bad habits smoking is the prime suspect, if you ask me. I use to smoke quite a lot for a long time. After quitting for 9 months, without lighting even one smoke I cheated one day. Why, did I have a good reason? No. One year later I’m on the road to repeat the same thing, without starting of course.
What I mean to say is that giving yourself a cheat day is never a good thing. I have a similar story when I was running on a diet. One cheat day and your craving for junk food is unimaginable, considering it wasn’t like that before.
Unless you have a strong will to cheat and then get on the same road, don’t try it. You don’t want to throw away all your effort until now. It’s up to you in the end.
PS: I created this presentation Washing Up vs Dishwasher
I think it can easily equates to quitting smoking cold turkey. It can suck, sure, but you’re more likely to get away with going without if you are able to, well, go without entirely versus trying to only have one or two a day or whatever. And while the desire necessarily doesn’t go away after quitting, it’s easier to be done with it, because you’re, well done (this of course is after you’ve officially “quit”). It works the same for anything else. It’s easier to go without Mtn Dew if you don’t have any Mtn Dew at all, instead of trying for only two a week or something (I mean, uh, I don’t drink too much Mtn Dew, no xD ).
Also, allegedly, something in cheese is addictive. All good fast food has cheese. xD And I entirely understand the ease in saying yes to take-out and the want for something just simple.
Yes! I agree. If I were to have whatever thing I’m craving only once per day, I’d spend the whole day thinking about “it” to the point that I’d probably actually have more than one.
Very interesting! I would probably be an abstainer – I struggle with willpower and if it’s there I will eat it. It would be hard for me to stop after just one square of chocolate.
You are spot on with the idea that making the decision to not do something is a relief. There is no choice to be made later, and the sentence “We don’t buy fast food” can be repeated as often as necessary when the kids are asking to stop for a Happy Meal. 🙂
I am most certainly an abstainer. I refuse to buy Oreos, because I know I will eat half the bag in one sitting. I also am a person, though, who won’t try something if I know other people love the stuff. For example, I will not even taste Nutella, because I know so many people who will eat an entire jar in a few days. Why even try something bad for me, knowing I will probably love it and crave it? No thanks.
I’m definitely a moderator. I cook most nights, but every once in a while I need a break. That’s when we go for fast food, but it’s usually from a local place we love, which isn’t a chain like McDonald’s or Burger King. It’s still fast food, but I like to think it’s better to support a local business!
That’s wonderful that you are able to do that! I wish I had that level of self control. Maybe in a different season of my life I will find moderation. Thanks for reading!
I am totally the cold turkey type too. Weaning myself off of something just doesn’t work because I also start making excuses. Making the decision to quit something though is the hard part, especially if it’s something I enjoy like coffee. I have to quit coffee now (according to my doctor) because I’m pregnant, but I still take my Starbucks every so often because somedays I just can’t function.
Thanks for linking up at the Friday Funday blog hop. 🙂
Oh, coffee is a really tough one to give up! Good thing those babies are so adorable with all we do for them. 😉
I am a moderator who probably should be an abstainer, because I’m not always very good at it. At least for food-related cravings. (Alcohol, coffee, etc are a lot easier to moderate, especially as I close in on 50).
A lot of the better habits I want to develop are positive, not negative, though. Mainly, I want to move my body more. I guess that’s Moderating my sitting, but it does seem a different sort of challenge.
I’ve discovered the same for myself! I think I’m moderating, but truthfully I’m just (for instance) eating an entire bag of chips only one time per week. That’s not exactly moderation!
Hi Jamie! I just sent you an email, and as soon as I clicked on your website I knew I had found you just a few weeks ago! I am horrible with names, but faces and pictures I always remember.
For me it’s a big NO when it comes to fast food. I don’t care for it myself, and the kids like it once in awhile, but by the time we are home again from a roadtrip they don’t want to even think about fast food!
What works for us is Monster Cookies! I love it that it has oatmeal and peanutbutter and helps keep the kids satisfied until we can get home to eat, the kids like it because it has M&M’s and chocolate chips, which, of course, they love!
When we get home and I have to throw together a quick meal I usually make one of Shaye’s recipes from The Elliot Homestead- fast, easy & good! We love her blog too.
I am so glad I found your blog – it’s just so nice to find another Mom that knows where you’re coming from- a busy house full of kids isn’t something that very many are familiar with anymore – and it drives me nuts to read the blogs that everything is picture perfect, the house could be in House Beautiful…but where do they sit down? Where do they live?! -and everyone is so nice that you just know it can’t be ‘real life’!
I look forward to your posts…
Put your feet up & have some chocolate!
Deb B
haha! I’m so glad for this comment, because I hope to come across as a “real” mom. We have plenty of struggles, but we trudge through and look for the good. 🙂